Let’s get real for a minute. Those who know me best know that I’m not crazy about birthdays. The aging isn’t the problem, it’s all the birthday stuff. All the pomp and circumstance junk and hoopla—it doesn’t come naturally, probably never will.
And, here’s my real issue with my birthday. Every year, I fall into the “all about me” trap, which, for a self-absorbed-prone person, is dangerous. At the onset of the day, if the fairytale birthday scenario isn’t playing out in my home, than I’m immediately disappointed, and there’s this little voice in my head that says, “This day sucks. Who can I blame?”
Well, duh. The person I can blame is ME. Ouch, did that realization hit me like a ton of bricks this morning around 8:00 a.m. Hello, Susan! You’re a mom, you’ve got a fifty-point list that needs addressing STAT! Yikes! Let’s go!
Here’s what I do love about birthdays. Once the self-absorption is stuffed into the drawer (next to pity and sulking), I can sit back and think, awesome, I am still on this ride called life. And it’s just plain awesome. Much doesn’t go as I would like it to, but a whole lot sure does, and I’m just grateful for today, and I hope you are too.
And, don't feel sorry for me---there's a decadent steak in my future this evening, as well as a weekend away with my husband. Yes, life is good.
And how about this blog? I’m not doing a great job with it lately, and am at a bit of an impasse with it (more on this soon).
I’ll do a quick March update in a few days, but for now I’m going to enjoy some cake with Ave!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Havoc
I don’t often admit to this, but there are some perks to being a stay-at-home-mom. Yes, I’m quite a bit poorer, and not very fashion-forward, but the upside is that I get to relatively float through my day, tending to the needs of my household. I love it and hate it, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
One of the fun things that I get to do is participate in a lot of daytime mom-focused activities. At a recent gathering the guest speaker posed a riveting question. She inquired, “Why did you have kids?” I thought, “I love this. Let’s get to the heart of the matter. Let’s stop the mindless mommy-talk, and filler chatter, and get right to it.” I’m sure some people felt uncomfortable, but for me, it made me sit up straighter, and listen more attentively. I started nodding and thinking, “Yeah, I’m with you. Impart some wisdom, get me to think beyond what I’m making for dinner tonight.”
The room was quiet, and then a couple people spoke up:
“I had kids because they make me happy, bring me joy.”
“So they’ll take care of me when I’m older.”
As if on cue, dancing in from stage right, came little Miss Judgmental Susie—the Queen of the all the answers, rolling her eyes, and boastfully snickering and laughing. Thankfully, I managed to keep my mouth shut, but that didn't stop Susie from thinking: “Kids aren’t going to make you happy, and they’re not always going to bring you joy! Crazy! And, have kids so they’ll take care of you when you’re older? Huh?”
Hearing others' motivations was very enlightening. I didn’t necessarily agree, but it did prompt me to ponder my own.
Four days of pondering ensued. I pondered when I carried my screaming two-year-old out of church like a sack of potatoes. I pondered when our household was bathed in sickness. I pondered when Avery woke me up at 3:00 a.m. announcing that she was about to be eaten by an alligator, or when she declared that I was the “meanest mom ever.” I pondered when Avery asked hard questions, and I literally felt like I was watching her mind grow. I pondered while listening to Romey giggle, or watching her dance and twirl. I was stuck. “Why did we have kids?” —living the American dream? The natural next step; what you’re supposed to do?
And then I had it—a lightbulb moment. Maybe it wasn’t my motivation I should be considering, but perhaps I should be wondering what God had in mind for us. What did God desire/intend for Dan and Susan (a.k.a. Avery and Romey's parents), and how did He plan to grow us throughout our parenthood journey? In other words, why did God allow for us to become parents? (And why does He trust us so much?!?)
I didn’t know it at the time, but soon learned that having kids would break me of my own self-sufficiency. Parenting would bring me to the ledge, push me harder, and expect more of me than anyone or anything had ever before. Parenting would be physically more demanding, and more emotionally taxing than I ever expected it would be. It would reek havoc on my life and my relationships. It would, at times, be exasperating. It would wreck me. And, it would lead me to God, on my knees begging for mercy (and help!). (And to think I'm just *warming* up.....)
And there’s my answer: having kids has reinforced my need for God.
I’m watching my girls grow while they un-intentionally help grow me—funny how God works.
One of the fun things that I get to do is participate in a lot of daytime mom-focused activities. At a recent gathering the guest speaker posed a riveting question. She inquired, “Why did you have kids?” I thought, “I love this. Let’s get to the heart of the matter. Let’s stop the mindless mommy-talk, and filler chatter, and get right to it.” I’m sure some people felt uncomfortable, but for me, it made me sit up straighter, and listen more attentively. I started nodding and thinking, “Yeah, I’m with you. Impart some wisdom, get me to think beyond what I’m making for dinner tonight.”
The room was quiet, and then a couple people spoke up:
“I had kids because they make me happy, bring me joy.”
“So they’ll take care of me when I’m older.”
As if on cue, dancing in from stage right, came little Miss Judgmental Susie—the Queen of the all the answers, rolling her eyes, and boastfully snickering and laughing. Thankfully, I managed to keep my mouth shut, but that didn't stop Susie from thinking: “Kids aren’t going to make you happy, and they’re not always going to bring you joy! Crazy! And, have kids so they’ll take care of you when you’re older? Huh?”
Hearing others' motivations was very enlightening. I didn’t necessarily agree, but it did prompt me to ponder my own.
Four days of pondering ensued. I pondered when I carried my screaming two-year-old out of church like a sack of potatoes. I pondered when our household was bathed in sickness. I pondered when Avery woke me up at 3:00 a.m. announcing that she was about to be eaten by an alligator, or when she declared that I was the “meanest mom ever.” I pondered when Avery asked hard questions, and I literally felt like I was watching her mind grow. I pondered while listening to Romey giggle, or watching her dance and twirl. I was stuck. “Why did we have kids?” —living the American dream? The natural next step; what you’re supposed to do?
And then I had it—a lightbulb moment. Maybe it wasn’t my motivation I should be considering, but perhaps I should be wondering what God had in mind for us. What did God desire/intend for Dan and Susan (a.k.a. Avery and Romey's parents), and how did He plan to grow us throughout our parenthood journey? In other words, why did God allow for us to become parents? (And why does He trust us so much?!?)
I didn’t know it at the time, but soon learned that having kids would break me of my own self-sufficiency. Parenting would bring me to the ledge, push me harder, and expect more of me than anyone or anything had ever before. Parenting would be physically more demanding, and more emotionally taxing than I ever expected it would be. It would reek havoc on my life and my relationships. It would, at times, be exasperating. It would wreck me. And, it would lead me to God, on my knees begging for mercy (and help!). (And to think I'm just *warming* up.....)
And there’s my answer: having kids has reinforced my need for God.
I’m watching my girls grow while they un-intentionally help grow me—funny how God works.
Monday, January 4, 2010
0 for 2
It’s a good thing that my sense of self worth doesn’t hinge upon whether or not my children like me. Today I’m 0 for 2.
Sadly, it’s been one of those days where the litanies of words coming out of my daughter’s mouth have literally sandbagged me. By 8:00 a.m. I heard, “You’re not a nice Mommy!”; “This breakfast is gross!”; and “I want a new Mommy!” And, to make matters worse, a listing off of names with whom Avery deemed to be acceptable replacements/upgrades followed “I want a new Mommy.” Great, let’s put names and faces to her back-up plan; women that I’m certain don’t want the job.
It was interesting whom she mentioned—I won’t call them out on the blog, but she actually made great choices, and in an ever so polite tone I relayed that observation. I told her that she “was stuck with me but that maybe she could discuss it with Daddy tonight.” By the way, I’m not perfect, but I’m trying.
But, oh, how in an un-perfect moment I would have loved to ZING her and spat something equally as ugly as “I’d like a NEW kid, like so and so.” Wow, that would have been extremely regrettable.
So, how do I explain that the “grass isn’t always greener” to Avery? I don’t suspect she’d quite understand. And I don’t think she’s really all that serious about wanting to swap out moms. Sincerely, I think she’s looking to get a reaction, and today it worked.
In either event, I think I’ll aim for 1 for 2 tomorrow. If I can just get one of them on my side….cue PR campaign now.
Sadly, it’s been one of those days where the litanies of words coming out of my daughter’s mouth have literally sandbagged me. By 8:00 a.m. I heard, “You’re not a nice Mommy!”; “This breakfast is gross!”; and “I want a new Mommy!” And, to make matters worse, a listing off of names with whom Avery deemed to be acceptable replacements/upgrades followed “I want a new Mommy.” Great, let’s put names and faces to her back-up plan; women that I’m certain don’t want the job.
It was interesting whom she mentioned—I won’t call them out on the blog, but she actually made great choices, and in an ever so polite tone I relayed that observation. I told her that she “was stuck with me but that maybe she could discuss it with Daddy tonight.” By the way, I’m not perfect, but I’m trying.
But, oh, how in an un-perfect moment I would have loved to ZING her and spat something equally as ugly as “I’d like a NEW kid, like so and so.” Wow, that would have been extremely regrettable.
So, how do I explain that the “grass isn’t always greener” to Avery? I don’t suspect she’d quite understand. And I don’t think she’s really all that serious about wanting to swap out moms. Sincerely, I think she’s looking to get a reaction, and today it worked.
In either event, I think I’ll aim for 1 for 2 tomorrow. If I can just get one of them on my side….cue PR campaign now.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Year-end wrap up
I have sort of ‘coasted’ on the blog lately. The end-of-year busyness and recent parenting challenges have prompted me to choose loafing instead of writing. I really do love to blog. I often say that the blog is about Avery and Romey for the sake of Avery and Romey. I love that they’ll one day be able to get a better sense of themselves but that they’ll also get a better sense of their biggest fan—me. And, as a side benefit, if you find reading the blog fun, or relatable, than double bonus. I'm glad we can connect in this way.
I have found that with each passing year it’s becoming increasingly more clear that so much in life is uncertain, and with that uncertainty I have to believe that it’s commonplace to ponder what my role will be throughout my daughters’ lives. It’s obvious that I was part of God’s plan to bring these babes into the world but will He also allow me the gift of mothering, knowing, and loving Avery and Romey until I’m eighty years old? I realize this is typical end-of-the-year thinking as we close 2009, and anticipate what 2010 may or may not hold, but, alas, it is something that's on my mind.
So, before the year is over, and since I managed to gloss over a couple big things, I thought I’d do a quick year-end wrap up. Enjoy!
I have found that with each passing year it’s becoming increasingly more clear that so much in life is uncertain, and with that uncertainty I have to believe that it’s commonplace to ponder what my role will be throughout my daughters’ lives. It’s obvious that I was part of God’s plan to bring these babes into the world but will He also allow me the gift of mothering, knowing, and loving Avery and Romey until I’m eighty years old? I realize this is typical end-of-the-year thinking as we close 2009, and anticipate what 2010 may or may not hold, but, alas, it is something that's on my mind.
So, before the year is over, and since I managed to gloss over a couple big things, I thought I’d do a quick year-end wrap up. Enjoy!
October 2009 Re-cap—Halloween—The chick flies again
It pleases me greatly to see “stuff” getting used again and again. I’ve passed a few things on to friends, and honestly LOVE it. So, when Halloween came around, I poked through the closet and found Avery’s chick costume. Luckily, it was the right size, and would fit Ro perfectly. Great, Ro’s a chick. Then the fun part: What’s Ave? A farmer? How about an egg? I know! A PRINCESS.
Well, Halloween was terribly cold so we pulled out last year’s costume and offered her an option: be a monkey, or be a princess wearing a coat? The moral of the story: both girls wore costumes that one or the other had previously worn. It worked, and Halloween was a blast (thanks in part to my glutton-for-punishment sister Lea).
Well, Halloween was terribly cold so we pulled out last year’s costume and offered her an option: be a monkey, or be a princess wearing a coat? The moral of the story: both girls wore costumes that one or the other had previously worn. It worked, and Halloween was a blast (thanks in part to my glutton-for-punishment sister Lea).
Lea and Ro chicka-boom
Cold kiddos
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