Tornado

Dear Romey,

Twenty-five days ago you turned two. As I’ve indicated in previous blog posts, I’ve felt the ominous two-year-old stuff approaching for months, sort of like a scary storm moving in on the horizon—the kind where you want to run into the basement and hide, but then you realize that there is no basement, not even a house! Instead you have to stand in the rain, and plant your feet firmly on the ground, and take the pelting rain, hail, and sleet LIKE A MAN.

Allegory aside, someone must have read my blog post to you; you know, the one where I laid down a mighty challenge for you to “up your game.” You have not only managed to “up your game” but you’ve surpassed my (and your father’s) expectations and have become a high-knee-foot-stomping-screaming-roaring-arms-crossing-irrational-tantrum-throwing-TORNADO. You, my dear, are a force to be reckoned with, and if you weren’t my second child, I’d be taking this behavioral stuff personally. Instead, I’m chalking up this behavioral shift to a natural developmental phase called two-year-old negativism (mixed with a side of passion, temper, and frustration). So, that, Romey, is the reason why I’m twenty-five days late with my birthday wish to you. I have been busy going toe-to-toe with you, and when not so engaged I’ve been recovering.

And, of course, there’s another side to you as well. You are unabashedly sweet, smiley, friendly, and happy-go-lucky. You are also mischievous and sneaky, and fiercely independent.

Your perfect day includes anything Elmo, or Yo Gabba Gabba. You love juice (“joo”), candy, cookies, and anything Avery is eating. You are fearless, and love to leap and be caught. You absolutely love being read to, and piles, and piles of books are often an indication of where we’ve planted for the day. You love to cuddle, and are still a hopeless mama’s girl. You love your pacifier or “Bobby” (Daddy calls it ‘Robert’) and your purple blanket. You don’t know this yet but YOUR New Year’s resolution is to give up your “Bobby.”

You love to imitate frogs and puppies, and get a real thrill out of playing with animals. And, your little vocabulary continues to grow—mama/dada has recently been upgraded to mommy/daddy, you are combining words, and overall just understanding more and communicating more clearly. Your favorite words are ‘mine,’ and ‘no.’

Your appearance still, at times, takes me by surprise. You have gorgeous deep brown eyes that look just like your Great-Grandpa Hofmeyer’s. You are unexpectedly blonde, blonde, blonde, and have a killer smile. I would say that the Hofmeyer DNA runs strong with you (even beyond your appearance).

Romey, your dynamic little persona continues to amaze us. You are a tremendously fun and spicy addition to our family. And, although I sometimes linger outside the van, where the screaming is slightly muffled, and I’m silently (or audibly) missing my “old life,” I hope you know that you are sincerely loved and I feel privileged to have you.

Happy belated second birthday little Ro—you are loved.

Love,
Mom

And it's a wrap.......

Thank goodness birthdays only come once a year, and, luckily, our girls' birthdays are six months apart. The next couple posts are a virtual picture parade documenting Avery's birthday celebration that seemed to span over three whole days.

Thanks to all of you that made Avery's birthday so special! I know she felt very, very loved!

Birthday Bonaza

Birthday breakfast

A birthday cheer

Singing Ave "Happy Birthday!"

Ave giving Ro a "thank you kiss!" for the baseball mitt

Modeling her new "A" necklace

.....and the scooter!

Me and Ave

Taking the scooter out for a spin

And, "I'm a Cubbie!" and then she dropped the ball......

Rainforest Cafe

Birthday sundae

Sharing some of her birthday sundae with RoMe and Ro

Dan and Ave

Happy Birthday Avery!

Dear Avery,

Happy Birthday! Today you are four-years-old. Wow. I simply can’t believe it.

Four years ago you JOLTED our world, and we didn’t know it then, BUT WE WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME. You father and I were two self-centered-spry-career-hyped-twenty-somethings (with cash) turned family-oriented-coupon-clipping-fat-bottom-tired-movie-renting-pizza-eating-slugs. To say you have taken our world by storm would be a MAJOR UNDERSTATEMENT. You jolted us then, and you jolt us now, and we wouldn’t want it any other way.

You are spunky, sassy, funny, silly, happy, and passionate. Your Tot Rock teacher described you as “memorable” and that really captures who you are. You are remarkably memorable. And, you can be incredibly sweet. You are quick to tell people you love them, quick to take a hand, and quick to offer a hug. And, you are totally and utterly fearless, and I love that about you.

You are, and will always be, so special to me. I love you.

Happy Birthday!

Love,
Mom

The Sole Survivor

“I saw that going so differently in my mind” has now been added to our list of favorite parental coping phrases. You might recall that one of our other favorites is “it could have been so much worse” after Avery gave herself a haircut.

The goal was simple: first birthday portraits for Romey. The stage was set. Romey had had a great start to her morning, and my sister agreed to come over and hang with Avery. And then, little by little, things started to un-ravel. The cumulative effect of the following resulted in no portrait and a lost shoe:

• It was snowing.

• Ave intentionally woke Romey up from her morning nap.

• During Romey's bath she slipped and banged her cheek on the side of the bathtub (resulting in a dime-sized red mark.)

• I spilled some water on Romey’s dress resulting in a last minute wardrobe change.

• My sister was late.

• The mall’s parking lot was packed.

• Somewhere between the car and the portrait studio one of Romey’s shoes disappeared (and she wasn’t wearing socks).

• I looked for the shoe; Dan looked for the shoe. We collectively determined that the shoe had vanished into thin air. Ro knew what happened to the shoe but she wasn't giving us any hints.

• We bagged the idea of trying to find the missing shoe, and decided to buy some new shoes. Gymboree was selling zebra print shoes, and polka-dotted shoes. No thanks—she’ll go barefoot.

• Our number is up, and we take a smiling and charming Ro into the portrait studio.

• I set Romey on the floor, and she freaks. She’s afraid. I pick her up, soothe her, and put her back down. She screams louder. I look at Dan. He looks at me. We hastily grab our things and head for the nearest exit.

The moral of this predictable story is: don’t ask me for professional portraits of the Nelson girls. Instead I’ll happily send you the Kodak Gallery link, and you can order some cute candids. And, speaking of pictures, Avery’s preschool portraits came in this week. She did a great job, and I’ll be posting one here soon. Maybe the key is that someone else needs to take Ave and Ro to the portrait studio. Any takers?

Romey

Dear Romey,

Happy Birthday! Today you are one year old. Last year you were born around 5:00 a.m., and today, as if on cue, you woke at 5:00 a.m. for a feeding. This morning I held you and thought about the moment we first met. It was an unforgettable moment—a moment that your dad and I had desperately hoped for, prayed for, and dreamed of—and it was everything we wanted it to be and more. The timing of you was perfect, and we’re so glad that God allowed you to join our family.

Our first year with you has been a joyous journey. Sure, you brought all that newborn stuff to the table, but overall it’s been a fairly easy year (easy because of you; not easy because then there were two—that’s hard). For your first hour of life “on the outside” you screamed hysterically, and then that was it. From that moment on you became our easy-going, un-assuming kid. You are quick to smile, happy, sweet, a snuggly kid, and a hopeless mama’s girl. We often joke that it is easy to forget that you’re around because of your happy-go-lucky way. Simply put, you’re a joy. And you’re a gift. Your middle name, Jean, means “gracious gift from God” and there couldn’t be a better way to describe you. It’s our privilege to have you as part of our family.

Happy Birthday Romey. We love you.

Love,
Mom

PS. Enjoy some of my favorite pictures from our first few days.

Our first 'meet and greet'

Almost one

Romey's actual birthday is December 6 but since my family was in town for Thanksgiving we thought we'd celebrate a little early. Enjoy!

It's hard to believe she's almost one!

Ro: "Give me some cake!"

......and lovin' it!

Avery helping Romey open gifts.

Unfortunately Romey was pretty tired so she wasn't really feeling the whole gift thing.

And 'scene'.......

And she's three....

It's hard to believe that our little baby Avery turned three yesterday. Avery, we love you. We think you're a pretty cool kid. We love your spirit, your passion, your sweetness, and your craziness. We love that you're a happy kid, and are delighted that you live life as though your hair is on fire. You might not know this yet, but we consider you the best surprise yet.

A little family party time.

Avery sporting some new pajamas in Nebraska.

Avery using Grandma Bensen's cane as a microphone. Requests anyone?

The day after

Today is the second day of my 31st year. Wow, I’m 31, and I totally believe it and totally feel like it. Yesterday was a pretty special day, despite the fact that I still went about my normal routine with my two little ankle-biters underfoot. It’s fun to hear from people, and see what types of surprises pop up throughout the day. Avery wore her Elmo party hat (as she does everyday), and skipped around the house wishing me a “Happy Birthday! Make a wish!” Instead of correcting her, as she does this everyday, I just said, “Thanks.” The day topped off with a Mrs. Fields cookie cake, and some Dora party hats. Avery thought she’d help me blow out my candles, and by blow I mean spit. So we saved that corner of the cake for her ;) All in all, it was a pretty cool day. Now if I can just hang in there for 31 more!

Avery helping me "spit out" the candles.













Avery being chastised for spitting on the cake.
















Today also marks the one-week countdown til Lea comes to town. In honor of this highly anticipated occasion we let Avery drink some pickle juice (don’t worry there wasn’t more than a tablespoon of juice in there; for those of you that don’t know, Lea loves pickles and has a long history of drinking from the pickle jar).

Happy 30th Birthday Dan!

In honor of Dan’s birthday Avery’s wearing her jeans on her head. Nope, just kidding—this picture is actually from a few days ago, and the reason her jeans are on her head is because she’s mimicking Dan (no, Dan didn’t have HIS jeans on his head; he put Avery’s jeans on HIS head). This picture illustrates two things I love about Dan—he’s silly and fun, and he’s absolutely crazy about his girls. It would of never occurred to me to put Avery’s jeans on my head, and yet, it did occur to Dan, and Avery thought it was totally hysterical. Avery and Romey have hit the jackpot by having Dan as their father. Dan—we three are crazy about you, and love you very much. Happy 30th!

Romey Jean

She's here! Romey took us by surprise, and made a grand and fast entrance early Thursday morning, December 6. We checked into the hospital around 12:30 a.m., and she appeared at 5:05 a.m. Our room was quickly dubbed as the "room with all the action."

Romey is a "sturdy" gal (as tagged by the doctor). She weighs 8 pounds and 4 ounces, and stretches out to 20 inches. Romey is pronounced like the city, adding a long "E." Jean is a family name (Dan's mom's middle name, my sister's middle name, and my grandmother's middle name) and means "God is gracious." We are feeling completely blessed and completely tired, but couldn't be more thrilled to have made Romey's acquaintance. Avery's a little unsure about Romey, but is muddling through. For now, we're just trying to get her to call her "Baby Romey" instead of "Baby Jesus" as the baby in her nativity set is "Baby Jesus." Terribly funny! More pictures soon, but for now....some rest.

A Glimpse In

This is a tough topic to write about, but, alas, I’m still going to do, because I feel it is important to do so. So, take a pass on this one if you’re looking for a cute Avery story, or more pictures of Avery swinging or modeling her pink sunglasses. This one’s a heavy topic, so as Avery say’s “here we go!”

Today is my would-have-been due date of our second child. It is hard to write about; sort of like picking a scab, but, like I said, important to do so. Funny how this topic still rattles me. Some of you have been asking where we’re at with all of this, which has prompted me to comment on the miscarriage, and try to do so more eloquently than I can on the phone or in person.

To be honest, the loss still hurts, and I suspect it will for some time. But, it has gotten easier, and we’ve come to accept the loss as part of our story. We’re in a bittersweet spot right now: if we hadn’t lost our second, would we have anticipated this child that we’re currently expecting?

I’ve been reading “A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss” by Jerry Sittser. It is a powerful, thought-provoking read, and his writings relate to all persons who have experienced loss in any shape or form.

He writes, “The experience of loss does not have to be the defining moments of our lives. Instead, the defining moment can be our response to the loss. It is not what happens to us that matters so much as what happens in us.”

Sittser’s statement has been a terrific challenge for us. To not wallow in our loss, but to try our best to accept it, move beyond it, and be different because of it. By different I mean to better appreciate what we do have—especially as it relates to Avery and this next little girl. We feel challenged to be more “in the moment” and appreciate the ordinary and simple blessings of our day-to-day lives.

Still, we’re saddened. We do feel a void in our family. We do feel like someone is missing. I guess this is normal: to grieve and miss the child we’ve never met. So, on this would-be-date, it’s hard not to wonder about what might have been, while still anxiously anticipating what is still yet to come.

Happy Birthday Avery!

Today marked the start of a new family tradition---each Nelson child gets a special outing with just mom and dad on their birthday. So, today, Avery turned two at the Brookfield Zoo. We had a terrific time; here are some fun pictures that we thought we'd share with you:

Avery drove Dan's station's H-3 to the zoo. She thought she was pretty cool, until she was demoted to the back.

















Avery hanging out in a bird's nest at the Hamill Family Play Zoo (a new children's area at Brookfield Zoo).

















Avery getting up close and personal with a guinea pig. She was confused as she associates the word pig with the snorting farm animal. So, she called it a rabbit, and squeezed it so hard that it squealed like a pig. Then we ran for the door, telling her that it was time for the rabbit to go night-night.

















Avery making friends with a goose. Thank goodness for the screen!















A fun end to the day -- a ride on the carousel. She loved it!

Nearly two....

We three are all partied out. This past weekend we celebrated Avery’s birthday with a “park party.” Dan and I were feeling a little un-inspired, so decided to have a casual birthday get-together at a park in Wheaton. We thoroughly enjoyed seeing our friends, and all their kids (which are almost outnumbering the adults!).

Picture: Avery munching on some candy, and giving her best “do I gotta go home now?” look.

Tomorrow marks Avery’s 2nd birthday, and we’ll top off the birthday festivities with a trip to Brookfield Zoo. This will be Avery’s first real-life encounter with elephants, lions, and such. We’re looking forward to seeing how she responds.

What else is new? I had my 15-week doctor’s appointment today, and it went well. The doctor got the baby’s heartbeat, and started doing his “heartbeat head-bob,” as I like to call it. Avery tagged along and did well --- all it took was some chips and three rolls of smarties ;) She shot the doctor a Dorito grin, and said “Hi!” If little Avery only knew what was coming down the pike, I doubt she’d be so cheerful.

And speaking of heartbeats, the baby’s clocked in at 160. Since Avery’s heartbeat always hovered around that number, we’re guessing that we’re having a girl. A totally un-scientific approach, but our best guess at this point. With luck, we’ll learn the baby’s sex at the July 23 ultrasound appointment.

Til the zoo!