Snapshot—Fall 2009

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, one of the primary reasons that I blog is to ‘record’ Avery and Romey. I take a lot of pictures, and video, but I don’t journal, and am a Creative Memories dropout. I have aspirations of putting together yearly photo books, but…….yeah, in the meantime, I’ll just blog it. So, Ave and Ro, this one’s for you.

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Romey—Gizmo

Let me start by saying that I love reading dooce.com. I don’t always agree with the author or appreciate her language, but I think she’s a great writer with a terrific story re-telling sensibility. Ah, story telling.

Anyway, she wrote this paragraph about her youngest daughter (approximately four months old):

“You are what I call The Ruse. And I am not falling for it, not one bit. No way. I'm guessing your kind is evolution's way of sustaining our species. Because you and your irresistible cuteness and mood could fool a woman into having lots and lots of babies. BUT I AM NO FOOL. You know why? Because I have already lived through the third year of someone's life, and I know yours is coming. And when it hits, when you throw your body across the floor in a fit of rage, I'll be all SEE! I KNEW IT! Behind all those smiles and adorable dimples lies an evil three-year-old!”

I read this and laughed and laughed and laughed. I think I might have even stood up and clapped. Why? Because, sometime over the last month, someone snuck into my home and dripped a little bit of water onto my sweet Romey’s head. And then, before my very eyes, Romey transformed from a little cooing Gizmo into a ferociously screaming Gremlin. And, let me tell you, it just gets downright ugly sometimes, and I can’t believe that I was stupid enough to think that Ro would skip past this tumultuous toddler stage. Yes, we still have glimpses of Gizmo, but boy, can that Gremlin make her presence known.

[My editor just informed me that Gizmo becomes more aggressive/mean/naughty if he's fed after midnight, and he multiplies if he gets wet. Details, details.....you get the idea.]

A typical Romey moment now often includes: a dirty look or two, screaming, kicking, and/or full body tantrums. She often will exercise her ‘right to refusal’ card and can be downright impossible. Yes, we’ve ushered in the two’s, and the great thing about Ro being my second child is that I’ve learned from past experience to just step over the tantruming child, and am often overheard saying, “Save it, sista!” or “work it out!” A golden rule: you just can’t reason with a tantruming child.

On a happy note, amidst all her tantrum throwing, Romey has managed to put on a little weight, and is now filling out Avery’s 3T clothing. Romey’s vocabulary is expanding as well, and her favorite words are: juice, mama, dada, gum, baby, bye bye, Avery, and a couple of others that I’m having a difficult time recalling at the moment.

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Avery—The X-Files

Avery has become our Queen Negotiator, and, at times, will use her manipulative prowess to get what she wants (I don’t know anyone like this).

Here’s an example: Avery spies a blue bottle of Gatorade, and says, “Oh, I’ve never had a blue drink before.” Then she dutifully waits, and bats her eyes at whomever is drinking the blue Gatorade. And then the drinker (who can not resist Avery’s charm) offers Avery a drink, prompting Ave to spring up and say, “Sure! I’d LOVE some!” Note: If the owner of the Gatorade bottle had not shared, then they likely would have been ‘X’ed.

Ah, the ‘X’ syndrome. We’re just coming out of the two-week period of intense ‘X’ing. Avery would draw a picture, and then ‘X’ some one out of it. Often that some one would be me, and Ave would explain that she had done so because sometimes “you (me) were naughty.”

Exhibit A and B: Mommy with an 'X'

It seemed that everyone had their turn with a ‘X’ on their face. Finally, I got a little fed up with it, and hastily drew a picture of Avery, and then put a giant ‘X’ over her drawn face (not her real face). Somehow, I’m not sure why, but that interchange got the point across. Remember, I don’t profess to be good at this parenting thing; just trying to muddle through it. I will say, though, that ‘X'-ing Avery worked, and the ‘X’ is ‘X’ed for now.

Avery has also become very, very imaginative, and can often be found building a ‘house’ (a chair with blankets), or a ‘hospital’ (a table and a blanket). Tea parties are still a big hit, as well as Candy Land, Hungry Hippos, Hi Ho Cheerio, and Play Doh. She loves to write, and has become even more infatuated with all things princess—Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, etc.

Avery created a 'video' of Dan and me.

And—my least favorite Avery update—I’m noticing that Avery is steadily becoming more aware of how other’s feel about her. She’s concerned with whether or not someone will like her, and if they’ll be nice to her. I hate to see her so ‘affected’ but know that we’re ONLY at the tip of this ice burg (more on this later).

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Have a great week, and Happy Fall!

Story Telling

Someday, many years from now, I plan to take Avery out for a girls’ night out of sorts. And, over margaritas and chips I’m going to tell her about the time I came to pick her up from preschool, and caught her whipping her spare pair of underwear at her classmates. And, I’m going to tell her how loudly she was laughing, and how all eyes were on her, and how she just kept whipping and whipping the underwear around and around and around. I’ll tell her how I stood there staring, and how, as we walked to the car, I sternly told her that she’d have to tell her father about this one. And I’ll tell her how she told Dan, and promised that she wouldn’t do it again. And I’ll tell her how teaching her manners, and what is/isn’t appropriate was the most MADDENING aspect of parenting, and how I plan to laugh my butt off when Avery’s daughter is taking her to the cleaners, and leaving HER face down in the carpet BEGGING FOR MERCY.

And then I’ll finish the story by telling her that she broke her promise to her father by engaging in panty whipping AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN. And then how we completed the cycle again: told Daddy, promised not to do it, but then did it again AND AGAIN. And then I’ll tell her how the teacher pulled me aside and said, “The four year old class doesn’t need to bring spare clothing. We covered it during the Orientation session. Certainly you were there.” And then I quipped, “Well, yes, but I was too busy nursing my bad attitude while simultaneously praising God that preschool was starting back up ALL WHILE chasing a ping pong ball and playing Mad Libs! Holy heck! Could you have told me she didn’t need spare clothing after the first whipping offense? Help me, help you, help me here lady!” C’mon!

And then Avery and I will toast our margarita glasses, order another round (charge it to Dan), and hopefully laugh, cause that’s the only way to muddle through this. Cause, really, life is pretty doggone good.

Mad Libs

Finally. After a long, long, grueling, and, at times, boring summer, school started today. The heavens opened, the angels sang, and we made our way to another preschool orientation session. I’d love to say that this preschool orientation session was full of new and helpful information, but alas it was remarkably similar to last year’s. The primary difference between this session, and last year’s session, was that last year I was smart enough to hire a sitter for Romey. There’s nothing like sitting through twice-hashed information chasing a ping-pong ball around the room---a ping-pong ball that has an extreme fascination with babies (and at a preschool orientation session the baby population is booming). And of the said babies, some of their mothers are quite cool with a ping-pong ball stopping and admiring, and others who are like, “Get your ping pong ball out of here! This orientation session is life-giving and extremely interesting!” You know you’re listening to a preschool teacher speak when there are multiple props (some of which make cool noises), and he/she tends to converse like you’re playing a game of Mad Libs. And by that I mean that the speaker is speaking and periodically pausing so you can ‘fill in the blank.’ And while the speaker is waiting for you to ‘fill in the blank’ they are courteously turning their head and cupping their ear because doing so allows for them to HEAR YOUR RESPONSE MORE CLEARLY. What?

So, I’m chasing a ping-pong, playing a little Mad Libs, and had a moment of, “Ugh. This is me.” I am the mother of a preschooler. I drive a mini-van. I have a fat tush, and am wearing some seriously slouchy clothes. I love this stage of life (really do) but sometimes I feel a little….ugh. And then I snap out of it because I know I have much to be grateful for, and should play Mad Libs with a joyful heart. But, selfishly, sometimes I don’t want to play Mad Libs, and am hopelessly faking it.

For tomorrow I’m praying for an attitude adjustment, and hoping that it takes root before it’s time to take Avery to Disney on Ice……

The first day of 4-year-old preschool.

Wow! She has changed a lot in a year! Check out last year's first day of preschool picture.

And it's a wrap.......

Thank goodness birthdays only come once a year, and, luckily, our girls' birthdays are six months apart. The next couple posts are a virtual picture parade documenting Avery's birthday celebration that seemed to span over three whole days.

Thanks to all of you that made Avery's birthday so special! I know she felt very, very loved!

Birthday Bonaza

Birthday breakfast

A birthday cheer

Singing Ave "Happy Birthday!"

Ave giving Ro a "thank you kiss!" for the baseball mitt

Modeling her new "A" necklace

.....and the scooter!

Me and Ave

Taking the scooter out for a spin

And, "I'm a Cubbie!" and then she dropped the ball......

Rainforest Cafe

Birthday sundae

Sharing some of her birthday sundae with RoMe and Ro

Dan and Ave

Happy Birthday Avery!

Dear Avery,

Happy Birthday! Today you are four-years-old. Wow. I simply can’t believe it.

Four years ago you JOLTED our world, and we didn’t know it then, BUT WE WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME. You father and I were two self-centered-spry-career-hyped-twenty-somethings (with cash) turned family-oriented-coupon-clipping-fat-bottom-tired-movie-renting-pizza-eating-slugs. To say you have taken our world by storm would be a MAJOR UNDERSTATEMENT. You jolted us then, and you jolt us now, and we wouldn’t want it any other way.

You are spunky, sassy, funny, silly, happy, and passionate. Your Tot Rock teacher described you as “memorable” and that really captures who you are. You are remarkably memorable. And, you can be incredibly sweet. You are quick to tell people you love them, quick to take a hand, and quick to offer a hug. And, you are totally and utterly fearless, and I love that about you.

You are, and will always be, so special to me. I love you.

Happy Birthday!

Love,
Mom

Independent

No, we’re not celebrating the 4th of July (yet); rather, we’re celebrating Avery. Tomorrow is Avery’s fourth birthday, and she is our “Miss Independent.”

If you’ve engaged with Avery recently than you’ve certainly heard some of her frequently used expressions: “No, just me!” “I can do it!” "I don't need any help!" or some form of those phrases, “I can do it all by myself!” “Just me, not Ro!” She’s even informed us that she’ll be blowing out her birthday candles by herself, not Ro. Whoa to Ro if she even steps near Avery’s birthday cake. Stay tuned. This could get interesting.

Oh, and if you happen to be at Old Navy and see this t-shirt in a girls size small please pick it up for me. I'll pay you double.

Summer tasks

Dan and I have our work cut out for us--literally. Amidst other things, Avery needs to learn how to use scissors correctly (SCARY!) and write her name. I think she's got the 'A' down.....

Avery and Jesus, Part 2

Avery and Jesus. Jesus and Avery. Avery’s really interested in Jesus these days, and I could not be happier about it. I don’t suspect I’ll ever forget her “I need Jesus!” moment with the nativity, or her latest cries of adoration. But, just in case, I’m filing this story in the “So I don’t forget” category.

Here’s how Avery’s mind works: “Ouch, I’m about to get in trouble, so now is the time to say it. And I’m going to say it loudly, and passionately, and I’m going to get right in Mommy and Daddy’s face so they can’t punish me. If I say it again, and again, and again, it will break their resolve. So, ready go!”

And what does she say? “I love Jesus! I love him, Mommy and Daddy! I LOVE Jesus! I love him so much! I LOVE JESUS!” Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

And here’s where I’m stuck: what do I say? I’ve been mumbling something like, “I’m so glad you love Jesus, but it’s not okay to [insert infraction here].”

Avery is such a trip. I’m crazy about this kid, but there are some moments where I feel like she’d be better served by saying, “Jesus, help my Mommy! She needs you so much!”

Growing pains

Our little Avery-mouse

Dan and I had a light bulb moment a few weeks ago. Crystal clear, the ‘water ain’t muddy no more’ kind of moment. Dan and I are still so green when it comes to parenting (and a lot of other things!). We’ve learned a lot over the last few years, but we still have so much to learn, and often feel overwhelmed by the fact that the “playing field” keeps changing, and we too, have to be quick to change and adapt or else.

To what parenting challenge am I referring to? Discipline. It’s difficult to know what situations/actions warrant which reaction/tactic/consequence. We’ve tried a lot of different things, but what I’ve come to realize, more clearly now than ever, is that consistency is the key.

Our latest mountain has been teaching Avery that it isn’t acceptable behavior for her to be disrespectful toward us. And by disrespect, I’m referring to back-talk, attitude, dirty looks, hitting, tone of voice, etcetera. I was pretty loose on this; calling her on it every now and again. And then it occurred to me that I was sending mixed signals; not setting clear boundaries and inadvertently telling Avery that it was okay sometimes but not okay other times. So, I (we) decided that it is not okay EVER, and now is the time to nip this behavior. And so we have, and it’s working. I’m seeing flare-ups here and there, but I feel like we're making some progress.

To sweeten the pot even more, I’ve tried using Avery’s love language on her (words of affirmation), and have absolutely loved watching the child glow. We’ve always praised her, but have recently tried being very specific with our praise, and giving it when we’ve noticed an intentional behavioral choice.

I took Avery to Blockbuster the other day, and told her “no candy.” She had a real opportunity to sock it to me, and I could see the wheels spinning in her head, but she chose to listen and stand next to me nicely, and although to some this doesn’t sound like much, for me, it was AMAZING. And man, when we got to the car I let her know that it was amazing, and the way she smiled, I know she got it.

And so, I believe it to be true, we aren’t doing our children any favors by not disciplining them or not holding them accountable. I hate the excuse of “that’s just who they are”—as applied to children or adults. I feel that’s a real cop-out. I think we’re expected to grow and mature; be better; be different; be closer to who God wants us to be and to emulate Christ more and more.

With Ave, I expect we’ll have some setbacks, but am hoping we’re on the right track. Ave, I’m so proud of you, and love watching you grow.

Embracing Christmas

Avery’s preschool hosted a Christmas Celebration today. Part one included a parent-student craft time, and then a Christmas program. Dan and I were a little skeptical about the Christmas program portion of the morning. Skeptical about what the school was planning, skeptical about Avery’s level of cooperation, etcetera.

The program began with the teacher lining the students up shoulder-to-shoulder facing the parents. Seventeen students facing forty plus family members all armed with cameras, and camcorders (if I had been on the student side of the room I would have been intimidated). The teacher welcomed the parents, and then led Avery and her classmates through three Bible verses complete with actions. I couldn’t believe it—nearly twenty three-year-olds stood together and recited their verses, and performed their ‘choreography.’ I took a quick glance around the room, and, like me, all us parental types had these dumb silly grins on our faces, hearts bursting, tears flowing. After the verses the children sang a couple of songs, followed by an activity/story led by the Preschool Director.

I was (am) so proud of Avery. I was thrilled to see her stand in line, and do as she was told. And, she even threw in a couple of bows for good measure. I love this kid’s spunk. She might have a hard time learning how to use her spunk for good, but I’m confident she’ll get it.

So, although I’ve been trudging toward Christmas a bit, this morning’s activities sparked a little renewal in me. And, although the ‘stuff’ of Christmas still wears me thin, I’m so grateful for the fresh reminder of the real reason why we celebrate Christmas—the anticipation and celebration of our savior’s birth.

Avery "helping" Dan set up the tree.

Icing some Christmas cookies.

Enjoying the first substantial snow fall of the season.













I just had to post this picture--Dan and Avery having a jam session.

Lovin' on Ave

Jesus

“I need Jesus!” yelled Avery, and then louder, “I NEED JESUS NOW!” I thought, okay, this is going to be interesting. I was about to tell her that Jesus lives in her heart, and He is with her every day when I realized what she was asking for: the Fisher Price nativity Jesus. She was holding a lone wiseman that never got packed up with the other Christmas decorations last year, and she was yelling and crying that she needed Jesus. It was astonishing to me that she remembered that the wiseman was a part of something; not just some random figurine. Plus, she hadn’t played with the nativity in a year so I was feeling impressed. Impressed enough to pull out the minivan (yep, you read right—more on this in a minute), approach the six-high stack of Rubbermaid containers, pull them down one-by-one, dig through the Christmas decorations to produce Jesus and all his mates and other nativity paraphernalia to a delighted preschooler. She said, “Thank you Mommy for finding Jesus!” No problem.

I’ve got to tell you that this little nativity set was sort of an impulsive purchase. I really went back and forth on whether or not it was necessary. It was a little pricey but I decided to go for it, and I’m so glad I did. Not only did it keep Avery’s hands off of my breakable nativity, but it also became a real tangible way to talk about the Christmas story. And, it has given me tons of memorable material—like yesterday, and the day after Romey was born (as Avery told the nurse that Romey was the baby Jesus, and said so with such awe and conviction; it was priceless). Now that I think of it my nurse’s name was Mary. Crazy.

And Dan’s needing a little Jesus these days too as he’s finally given up the fight and surrendered to my constant needling, begging, and downright practicality—he agreed to a minivan. Dan hates the idea of a van. He hates what it represents, he hates the idea of being seen in it—the whole package. Me, I’m too practical to care what people think so I’m ecstatic to have the extra space, and love seeing my little queens perched on their thrones. Soon I’ll have a picture of Dan in the driver’s seat with a big smile on his face. I suggested taking our family Christmas picture in front of the van but Dan said he’d put his hand over his face. So, I made him a deal. Quit griping about the van, be pleasant about it, smile when you talk about it and we’ll get a Nintendo Wii. The deal is under consideration. Hopefully he’ll go for it.

Here’s to embracing life as minivan mama, and Dan lying down in the backseat wondering who’s seen him! :o) The plates should read: DAN VAN.

Have a great day!

Avery helping my mom rake the leaves. My mom was using a "blower" (I think that it is what is called) and it was hysterical to see Avery's reaction to all the leaves coming at her. Avery loves to help--she quickly grabbed a rake and started raking. At home, she is always asking for her turn with the broom. She doesn't know it yet but I'm going to get her a kid-size broom for Christmas.

Little brown-eyed beauty watching the leaf show. She'll be a year old on December 6.
I had to "share" a craft with you. Avery is constantly bringing the coolest crafts home from school. Avery's teacher says that craft time is Avery's favorite activity of the morning. Anyway, this is a piece of pumpkin pie, and I was so puzzled as to what the white cotton was supposed to represent. Alas, I got it: cool whip, and the teacher even sprinkled it with cinnamon. Cute.

Ewww!

I finally got a picture of Avery with her favorite vegetable—broccoli. Yep, broccoli. She loves green broccoli and white broccoli (cauliflower). It’s the craziest thing! Avery certainly doesn’t get her love for these veggies from me, and I’m totally dumbfounded watching her eat them. Here she is cheesing with a little green floret:

We had a fun weekend, enjoying some of our favorite fall activities. Dan and Avery carved a pumpkin, and she just asked me to "turn the pumpkin on." :o)
Avery digging out some pumpkin seeds......
......and then asking if she could wash her hands. Such a girl!

Happy Monday!

Preschool

So we're here. We're now officially parents of a pre-schooler. This transition is bringing about such a strange mix of emotions—excitement for Avery; sadness that she’s growing up and it’s happening so incredibly fast; relief to be consistently ‘offloading’ a child for a bit; anxiety about Avery being in someone else’s care, etcetera.

So, how'd it go? Great! She loved it, and it was fairly anti-climatic. She did mention though that her teacher told her to be quiet, which we thought was totally hysterical. Oh little Avery....this is going to be so good for you!

And here she is.......little Miss Pre-school modeling her very cute backpack.

Avery: "I'm so excited, I can hardly stand it!"

Walking into the school, and waving to Dan.

Putting Avery's nametag on. Bummer, there's more than one Avery, but I don't suspect it will take the teacher long to figure out who's who.....

And one last peek.....sigh.

And she's three....

It's hard to believe that our little baby Avery turned three yesterday. Avery, we love you. We think you're a pretty cool kid. We love your spirit, your passion, your sweetness, and your craziness. We love that you're a happy kid, and are delighted that you live life as though your hair is on fire. You might not know this yet, but we consider you the best surprise yet.

A little family party time.

Avery sporting some new pajamas in Nebraska.

Avery using Grandma Bensen's cane as a microphone. Requests anyone?

Week 37

Today marks the first day of week 37. Avery was a 38-weeker, so we’re hoping for the same luck with this baby. If the baby were to come this week, we’re at least feeling ready (as much as we can be). The house is not a construction zone anymore, we’ve managed to do quite a bit of cleaning, and the nursery is set (Avery calls the mobile "planets"). I’m even considering breaking a cardinal rule by setting up our Christmas decorations this week (tacky, right?). So, we wait, and we hate to wait, and are anxious about how this is all going to go down. This is a bit of a different experience since we have Avery to consider. We have some preliminary plans set for her, but how’s it all going to shake out?

In the meantime, we took Avery for her first dental appointment on Saturday (Dan got a cleaning too). Avery took a ride in the chair, got a new toothbrush, and allowed the hygienist to count her teeth (through a partially clenched jaw). Surprisingly, Avery already has her lower two-year molars. We thought we were still waiting for that glorious event. So instead of waiting on four teeth, we’re only waiting on two teeth. Avery hasn’t had a great teething run, so we describe the next round popping through as something to “look forward to.” The hygienist also remarked that Avery’s teeth looked great, so we’re relieved to hear that perhaps we’re doing an alright job taking care of her teeth.

Dan, on the other hand, didn’t get such great news. He’s got some cavities, and needs a crown. He’s not very happy about it—if you ask him, he’ll probably tell you all about it.

Hopefully we’ll have a baby post for you soon. Can’t believe that we’re this close—very, very surreal.

Avery taking a ride in the dental chair.














Scoping out the toothbrushes.














Avery admiring herself in the tooth-shaped mirror.