Sunday, July 19, 2009

His and Hers

It was bedtime and Avery was going about her typical nighttime routine. I stopped in to check on her and found her with her pants down, standing, facing the toilet. I asked her what she was doing, and she said that she was getting ready to use the toilet. I nervously laughed it off and told her that girls sit down when they use the potty.

Guessing that she hadn’t dreamed up this new method of using the toilet, Dan asked her about it the next day. Avery reported that she had seen little boys at camp standing up at the toilet, so Avery thought she’d try it that way too.

As you might have guessed Avery doesn’t know that boys and girls are anatomically different. The topic hasn’t come up. She hasn’t noticed, hasn’t asked about it, and is basically clueless.

And now we’re at a crossroads. Do we tell her? Or do we just wait for her to come upon this information on her own? This is one of those moments where I feel like families with children of both sexes are at a real advantage. It seems that it would be a casual teaching moment if the older child came upon the younger child getting their diaper changed, and the parent generically stated that boys are made one way, girls another. Case and diaper closed.

So, I’d love some advice. If we tell her, will it make her inappropriately curious? Or, if we don’t tell her, will she freak when she accidentally comes across a male classmate in the preschool bathroom? What do you think?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Dusting off the blog

I really do love to blog. Really.

“My name is Susan Nelson, and four weeks have passed since my last confession (or commentary, reporting, whatever).” I’ll do better. Since my last post, here is what we've been up to:

*We've cruised down to Bloomington a couple times over the last several weeks. My parents just bought a new home that backs up to a lake. It's cool that our visits now include fun outdoor activities like kayaking and fishing. It's a little sad, though, to say goodbye to my childhood home.

*Romey had her 18-month well check visit. Although Romey hadn’t lost any weight, she hadn’t gained any either so the doctor is feeling a little concerned. I love it when the doctor looks at me like I’m withholding food from my child (I'm smiling, really). Romey is making some progress verbalizing her wants/needs, but overall is still a little delayed. We recently had a second speech evaluation and the therapist was thrilled with Romey’s progress. Romey is signing more words, and is doing more word approximations (i.e. making a sound similar to the actual word). Ro’s biggest deterrent continues to be…..well, Romey. Her passivity, and shyness aren’t helping matters.

On the flip side, we know the ‘wheels are turning’ as Romey will follow directions, shakes her head yes or no, and more. Romey has also started marching, jumping, and singing. We’re beginning to see the onset of the “two’s”—more tantrums, more testing, more expressiveness all around. I’ve said it several times, but it bears repeating—“Ro, you’ve got to up your game. We’ve seen so much worse.”

On a totally un-related note, Romey is now mullet-free. Thanks to Dan's sister Tessa, Romey is now sporting a very cute haircut.

*Dan golfed.

*We celebrated Dan on Father’s Day. Dan is a great father. I always sensed that he would be, and certainly haven’t been disappointed. Avery and Romey hit the jackpot by scoring Dan as their pop.

*And then Avery had Camp Discover at Glen Ellyn Bible Church. Holy heck was that a week to remember. It was terribly hot, but terribly fun too. Avery loves hanging with her old mates, and some new mates too, so it was a win-win all around. Except for the day that she didn’t want to leave…..that didn’t go so well, and required the help of a near stranger to get my brood to the car. I think I might have growled at her to subdue her, but I can’t be sure. If the idea of another child had even been open for discussion the decision would have been made right then and there. Signed, sealed, delivered. Locked up, put in a safe, and thrown to sea. More on this later.

*Dan golfed some more.

*Around the beginning of July we started planning our second attempt; that is, trying for a successful trip to Nebraska. This time we actually made it across the Illinois border, and then gleefully crossed into Nebraska. And to think that all it took were mountains of DVD’s, a lot of toys, and several bags of candy. Seriously, the girls did amazing, and we were actually able to do four-hour travel stretches at a time. A few of the rest stops had parks and that was a tremendous help. Overall, we had a GREAT trip, and a super fun time connecting with the Nelson family.

*And then it was Avery's turn for her well check appointment. Ave continues to be in the upper ninetieth percentiles for height/weight (she's so tall!), is on track developmentally, and also gave an impressive personality demonstration. Two lines I won't soon forget—"My name is Avery Bauer!"—when the nurse asked Avery what her first and last name were and Avery chose to give her classmate's name instead. And, Avery vehemently and crossly yelling, "Don't do that to me again!" after getting a couple of shots.

In other Avery news, Avery had her first round of swim lessons (in the month of June). Her and four other kids were assigned to instructor Dana, and it's safe to say that Dana had her hands full. Avery's report card stated that Avery "needed to work on listening" and that it would be best to "repeat level one." Oh well. Maybe we'll try again next summer. The good news is that the park district camp was a fantastic fit (although it only lasted for two weeks).

*My high school friend Jill visited last week, and it was really great to see her and catch up. Part of her time in Illinois included a visit to Bloomington to meet up with one of our other high school friends Kristin. Although much time had passed since we last saw each other, we were able to easily re-connect and reminisce about the good ‘ole days (well maybe not ‘good’ but definitely different from what we're currently up against). It was awesome. I'll post pictures of our visit soon.

*Dan golfed again.

*Ave finished camp this week, and brought home a nasty flu strain. Thankfully the weather is beautiful, and we’re enjoying a quiet weekend at home. And, Dan told me at dinner last night that he’s got five golf outings planned for August. Words couldn’t express my feelings, but I’m certain the look I gave him did. It’s an ongoing discussion that Dan has more fun that I do, and that I’m his ‘fun-enabler.’ I need to start having more fun! :o)

Til next time!

4th of July and Nelson extravaganza

Avery with her very first sparkler (courtesy of Aunt Lea)

Avery and her cousin Addy

Dan and his Mom

Dan and his Grandma Daryle

Four generations

Dan's sister Katie and Avery

A Romey smirk

Romey and her nemesis Cleo the cat

Nelson family

Our family

All of the Nelson grandkids

Dan's Grandma with all the Nelson grandkids

Grandma Daryle with the Nelson kids

On our way back to Illinois

Flower child

Fishing and Kayaking

Dan's catch

To Ave, "flossing" is a small price to pay for a kayak ride.

Ave took a kayak ride with my Dad. She loved it!