It was bedtime and Avery was going about her typical nighttime routine. I stopped in to check on her and found her with her pants down, standing, facing the toilet. I asked her what she was doing, and she said that she was getting ready to use the toilet. I nervously laughed it off and told her that girls sit down when they use the potty.
Guessing that she hadn’t dreamed up this new method of using the toilet, Dan asked her about it the next day. Avery reported that she had seen little boys at camp standing up at the toilet, so Avery thought she’d try it that way too.
As you might have guessed Avery doesn’t know that boys and girls are anatomically different. The topic hasn’t come up. She hasn’t noticed, hasn’t asked about it, and is basically clueless.
And now we’re at a crossroads. Do we tell her? Or do we just wait for her to come upon this information on her own? This is one of those moments where I feel like families with children of both sexes are at a real advantage. It seems that it would be a casual teaching moment if the older child came upon the younger child getting their diaper changed, and the parent generically stated that boys are made one way, girls another. Case and diaper closed.
So, I’d love some advice. If we tell her, will it make her inappropriately curious? Or, if we don’t tell her, will she freak when she accidentally comes across a male classmate in the preschool bathroom? What do you think?
Guessing that she hadn’t dreamed up this new method of using the toilet, Dan asked her about it the next day. Avery reported that she had seen little boys at camp standing up at the toilet, so Avery thought she’d try it that way too.
As you might have guessed Avery doesn’t know that boys and girls are anatomically different. The topic hasn’t come up. She hasn’t noticed, hasn’t asked about it, and is basically clueless.
And now we’re at a crossroads. Do we tell her? Or do we just wait for her to come upon this information on her own? This is one of those moments where I feel like families with children of both sexes are at a real advantage. It seems that it would be a casual teaching moment if the older child came upon the younger child getting their diaper changed, and the parent generically stated that boys are made one way, girls another. Case and diaper closed.
So, I’d love some advice. If we tell her, will it make her inappropriately curious? Or, if we don’t tell her, will she freak when she accidentally comes across a male classmate in the preschool bathroom? What do you think?
4 comments:
I would definitely tell her...using the correct names for said body parts. I have a friend whose son had no idea the real name for women's parts until he was 12 years old!!! It is better to be informed by parents than to be ill-informed by others:)
~Kristin
Hey Susan!
I love to read about what's going on with you and your family!
I had to write and give a recommendation for some books that might help you with explaining things to Avery...
There is a series of Christian books called "God's Design for Sex" and the first book is called "The Story of Me" which I think would be appropriate for her age. It gives an explanation of boy parts, girls parts, and a little bit about where babies come from.
Kevin did that book with Trey about 1-2 years ago. He is preparing to do book #2 with him this summer which is a little more detailed. :)
It is always an adventure, isn't it??!?
Well, keep us posted on how things go!
~Kelly Jansma
Susan,
Your blog is by far one of the best things on the internet!
It's best that you tell her instead of 'playing doctor' in the bathroom with a little boy at preschool because it looks different and having the teacher explain it to her. She obviously wasn't old enough to ask how the baby got in there when you were pregnant the second time (yeah, that's a fun conversation - let me tell you!) I also agree with Kristin who posted earlier - let her know the appropriate names of anatomy, why God made us different, etc. You guys are AWESOME parents - you can do this too! (Tell Dan to be ready for some really weird looks from his daughter though). love you all! JJ
Susan,
Your blog is by far one of the best things on the internet!
It's best that you tell her instead of 'playing doctor' in the bathroom with a little boy at preschool because it looks different and having the teacher explain it to her. She obviously wasn't old enough to ask how the baby got in there when you were pregnant the second time (yeah, that's a fun conversation - let me tell you!) I also agree with Kristin who posted earlier - let her know the appropriate names of anatomy, why God made us different, etc. You guys are AWESOME parents - you can do this too! (Tell Dan to be ready for some really weird looks from his daughter though). love you all! JJ
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