I Heart Saturdays

We took a "pass" from our regular Saturday chores, and took the girls to the DuPage Children's Museum. The girls loved it, and we ended the morning with a run to "Old McDonalds." I don't have the heart to tell Avery that it is actually just called McDonald's. And, curious, some days it is open, and some days it is closed. Crazy, right?

Avery (and Ro) playing in the wind/air area.

I'm not sure why, but I just like this picture. Romey really loves Dan, and it still amazes me to see Romey standing, and walking around. She seems so tall and very toddler-like.

Avery in the wind tunnel playing with a pinwheel.

Now, be honest......what comes to mind when you see this picture? Cheeks, right?

Bubble man (and girl) totally encased by a big bubble.

Growing pains

Our little Avery-mouse

Dan and I had a light bulb moment a few weeks ago. Crystal clear, the ‘water ain’t muddy no more’ kind of moment. Dan and I are still so green when it comes to parenting (and a lot of other things!). We’ve learned a lot over the last few years, but we still have so much to learn, and often feel overwhelmed by the fact that the “playing field” keeps changing, and we too, have to be quick to change and adapt or else.

To what parenting challenge am I referring to? Discipline. It’s difficult to know what situations/actions warrant which reaction/tactic/consequence. We’ve tried a lot of different things, but what I’ve come to realize, more clearly now than ever, is that consistency is the key.

Our latest mountain has been teaching Avery that it isn’t acceptable behavior for her to be disrespectful toward us. And by disrespect, I’m referring to back-talk, attitude, dirty looks, hitting, tone of voice, etcetera. I was pretty loose on this; calling her on it every now and again. And then it occurred to me that I was sending mixed signals; not setting clear boundaries and inadvertently telling Avery that it was okay sometimes but not okay other times. So, I (we) decided that it is not okay EVER, and now is the time to nip this behavior. And so we have, and it’s working. I’m seeing flare-ups here and there, but I feel like we're making some progress.

To sweeten the pot even more, I’ve tried using Avery’s love language on her (words of affirmation), and have absolutely loved watching the child glow. We’ve always praised her, but have recently tried being very specific with our praise, and giving it when we’ve noticed an intentional behavioral choice.

I took Avery to Blockbuster the other day, and told her “no candy.” She had a real opportunity to sock it to me, and I could see the wheels spinning in her head, but she chose to listen and stand next to me nicely, and although to some this doesn’t sound like much, for me, it was AMAZING. And man, when we got to the car I let her know that it was amazing, and the way she smiled, I know she got it.

And so, I believe it to be true, we aren’t doing our children any favors by not disciplining them or not holding them accountable. I hate the excuse of “that’s just who they are”—as applied to children or adults. I feel that’s a real cop-out. I think we’re expected to grow and mature; be better; be different; be closer to who God wants us to be and to emulate Christ more and more.

With Ave, I expect we’ll have some setbacks, but am hoping we’re on the right track. Ave, I’m so proud of you, and love watching you grow.

Confession

I have to make a quick confession: sometimes I’m a really crappy mom. This declaration shouldn't come as that big of a surprise; I’m not perfect, and my mothering isn’t either.

Last Tuesday Avery brought a note home from school stating that Thursday was going to be a snow day—not the day off, but a snow-themed day, including playing outside. So, basically, the kids were to bring their snow gear to school. Well, I spaced it. Avery went to school with her coat, gloves, and hat, but I forgot about her snow boots. Because Avery didn’t have snow boots she wasn’t allowed to climb the snow hills. When I picked Avery up from school she was crying, and upset and telling me that she needs to wear her boots to school. Honestly, I felt terrible. Score one for mommy.

Ro seems to be on the verge of dropping her morning nap—except for today—the first morning nap in a week. So, on Thursday, while Avery was busy crying at school because she didn’t have her snow boots, I took the van to the car wash. Romey was along, watching a Baby Einstein video in back. The car wash started and Romey started freaking out. The noise, water, etcetera, scared her, and although I was trying to soothe her, I couldn’t help but laugh. And so I laughed, and she survived, and calmed down after we drove out of the carwash. I’m still snickering about it. So, score two for mommy, and mark this moment down in history—I felt bad for Avery, and didn’t feel bad for Romey. And, referring to not feeling bad for Romey, she’s started screaming and throwing little tantrums. Again, I’m laughing. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—“Ro, you gotta up your game. Your tantrums are laughable!”

Riddle me this

The craziest thing happened today—Romey picked up a princess dress-up crown and, without a second thought, put it on top of her head. I thought, "Wow!"—Romey knows what to do with a princess crown. Obviously she’s been watching Avery and has learned that the crown goes on the princess’s head! I'm so proud.

In addition to joining the royal harem, Romey has also been pointing the remote control toward the television, and “chatting” while holding the phone to her ear. Yes, you might say that we Nelson girls wear crowns, watch television, and chat on the phone all day (not far from the truth!).

And speaking of chatting it up, I have begun the arduous task of trying to explain the word 'why' to Avery. When I ask Avery why she did something, and she doesn’t seem to be understanding the question (or is being coy). By asking her why, I am wanting to know what her motivations are, her reasons, her promptings—for instance, why did she spit all over her bed; why did she hit her sister? Avery will often cutely reply that “it was an accident or a mistake."

In addition to Avery comprehending the word 'why', how do I get her to understand the difference between a purposeful action, and an accidental incident? I can only dumb it down so much before the words just seem to get lost in translation (note: I’m not calling Avery dumb. In fact, she’s smart. Some intangible concepts are just difficult to explain).

And to throw a little more kindling on the fire, Avery has started saying the following to me in the midst of being disciplined: “Mommy, God loves me. I love God. I love Jesus. I love you, Mommy.” I am delighted to hear that she loves God (and me), but when I’m trying to explain that she didn’t make a mistake by spitting all over her bed, and that it was in fact a purposeful action, it makes me want to pull my hair out and scream like a crazy lunatic in an insane asylum! And that’s why I’m going (insert expletive) nuts! Happy Friday!

Our little princess in training.

Posing

Back to Bloggin'

Hello blog, fellow bloggers, family, friends, neighbors, my mom's neighbors, and the rest of you! It's been awhile, so here's what's new with us!

I’m going to be honest: I’m so glad the holidays are over. I might be alone on this but I find the holidays stressful. It seems that it’s hard to strike a balance: too much family, too little family, too much time at home, too little time at home. If we’re home alone, it’s lonely. If we’re somewhere else, we’re miffed that the girls aren’t sleeping/eating/behaving. It’s hard to find the perfect mix.

It is fun, though, to see Avery “getting” Christmas more this year. She loved going for drives to look at Christmas lights, loved decorating/re-decorating the tree, and loved asking when she’d be able to open her presents. Her excitement was palpable, and it was neat to see Christmas through her eyes.

And now we’re the proud owners of a whole new pile of stuff (i.e. Christmas presents). Do you ever feel like enough is enough? The consumerism of Christmas has left me wondering how we can better strike a balance next year. How can we not “jip” our kids, and yet not feel overwhelmed with stuff? If you have some ideas, I’d love to hear them.

As you might guess from this post, the word “balance” is on my mind. Striking a balance (on all fronts) doesn’t come naturally for us. It certainly requires some intentionality and discipline. Hopefully 2009 will yield some great balance-making moments.

Something that will certainly help in this regard is that we’ve managed to wean Romey. From the get-go I walked into the whole breastfeeding thing thinking that I’d give it a try, and hoped for the best. Well, the best is what I got, because it really took off, and Romey showed no signs of wanting to stop. Sure, kudos to me for hanging in there, but this little feeding relationship has not come without some major sacrifices—most of it worth it, but not entirely. We had two goals for the past weekend—order a new dishwasher (did you know that your true character is revealed when your dishwasher goes out? I’ve got work to do), and wean Romey. Shockingly, both we’re easily accomplished. Ro is now a cup-o-milk girl and we couldn’t be happier about it. Sorry Ro—it was time.

And, in addition to embracing the cup, Ro is also walking. Walking is now her preferred mode of transportation, and it’s the craziest thing. She looks so tall; so grown up. It’s terribly cute, and we just outfitted her with some new walking shoes. Ro’s started pointing, saying "yes," throwing mini-tantrums (Ha! We’ve seen so much worse; gotta up your game!), dancing, and smiling, smiling, smiling. She’s such a fun kid, and loves baby dolls and books.

Avery survived a recent bout of pink eye, and is back at school today. Avery continues to surprise us with how much she’s “getting” stuff. Dan was looking at his phone this morning and Avery asked if he had any e-mail. She’s continually asking questions, and loves asking what things/people start with (i.e. Romey starts with "R" and Ave makes the "R" sound. Yeah to Leap Frog for getting Avery excited about phonics!). Avery ended 2008 with a trip to the dentist, and did a stellar job, and the hygienist said Avery was her best patient ever. Wowser!

And, as for 2009, we’re still talking through some of our New Year’s resolutions—all of which include having more balance, more discipline, and more consistency. I hope to blog more in 2009, because I love doing so, and it has become a therapeutic outlet for me. I feel like I’m at a bit of a crossroads though, because there are times when I feel that I can’t write what I would like to. So, we’ll see.

Here’s to 2009—may it be a year where we rely of God more heavily; love more deeply; negotiate life’s hardships/disappointments more gracefully; and use our time more wisely. May it be a year where I get acquainted with an elliptical machine; get less acquainted with my Visa card; more acquainted with God; and less acquainted with the television. May I go on more dates with Dan; love my girls more; be in the moment more; and be a better friend. May I eat more salads, less hamburgers, less pizza and try tofu. Okay, I’m getting carried away—Happy belated New Year!

A couple of Avery's favorite gifts---a broom, and monster feet!

Ave: "Roar! I'm a monster!"

Ro making kissy-face with the patio door.

We jumped on the bandwagon and did a gingerbread house. Overall, I'd give the whole g-house experience a C-.

Ro sporting a Santa hat.

Aside from a lot of learning toys (yeah!), princess garb was a big hit this year. Avery loves dressing up like a princess and has even gotten Romey interested (see below).