Control

I’m drinking an iced-tea and snacking on almonds. Ro is in her crib asleep, and all it took was a quick hug, pacifier, and a blanket. Really. No kidding.

It all began with exhaustion—night upon night of interrupted sleep. Romey wanted a midnight snack and I “happily” obliged her. Just as with the breastfeeding (I’m sheepishly admitting that our first weaning attempt failed), I was hoping that she’d outgrow her desire for a middle-of-the-night rendezvous. But she didn’t, and I was beginning to feel chronically exhausted—foggy, impatient, out-of-it. And, what does an out-of-it mom do to recharge? Caffeinate.

And so I did. Before I knew it one Diet Coke wasn’t enough for that “early morning pick me up.” Then it became two Diet Cokes, and then some coffee, and then some more coffee (courtesy of a Sam’s Club jumbo-sized bag-o-beans).

And then Avery’s teacher mentioned that they’ve noticed a correlation of Avery’s behavior and her sugar intake. I agreed; I had noticed it too.

And then Mom’s Connection (church’s mom’s group) did a session on nutrition. I didn’t think we ate horribly, but gosh, I guess we’re not eating as well as we could be.

I was thinking: something’s got to give. And so it did.

Romey is done breastfeeding. Romey is done with the midnight feeding. I’ve cut out Diet Coke, and whole host of other sugary, processed, ingredient-laden stuff, and it feels absolutely great. We’re learning a ton about what types of foods to eat and when, and digging into the Body by God concept and Super Foods. It feels really, really good, and it feels good to be taking our family’s food choices more seriously. I’m not sure if these choices will prolong my (our) life (lives), or prevent unwanted diseases, but am hopeful it is a step in the right direction. I’d also like to completely kick my caffeine habit and start exercising. Stay tuned. One blessed week at a time.

And, please, don’t think that last week was easy. All of these changes—especially pertaining to Romey—were really, really, really hard. The parenting journey that we’re on continues to be challenging. It’s hard to do what’s best for your child. It’s hard to stop enabling. It’s hard not to do what the child wants you to do. We asked ourselves: “What’s best for Ro?” Romey needs to rest. Romey’s fifteen-months old and does not need a midnight feeding/pacifying. And, thankfully, she’s rebounded. We had a couple challenging nights but she did it, and I’m convinced she’ll be better off for it.

And, admittedly, I did keep an ice-cold emergency Diet Coke on hand for a few days before I asked my sister to stage an intervention. Aside from the caffeine, I’m concerned about aspartame. What do you know about it?

I must admit that it feels really good to have a small amount of control back; like maybe some areas of our lives aren’t spiraling out of control. And, when I've got $6.00 in my wallet (check out my favorite new site), and a half-naked flower in my hallway (see below), I need all the “control” (help) I can get.

Flower (Ro) looking at me and asking: "One more night, Mom?"