Susan's Blog: The Lesser of Two

“Wow, God has certainly blessed you with two gorgeous girls,” remarked some random lady at the grocery store. I think, “She’s right. But, I sure wish Avery and Romey would grow up more quickly. This stage is driving me crazy. Please, Lord, can I take a fast pass through the next few years?”

“You’ll never believe the stuff my second grade daughter is dealing with. The girls are horribly demeaning to one another. Friend, you don’t know what’s coming around the bend for you,” said my hairdresser. I think, “Oh, God, I can’t handle other people influencing/hurting Avery and Romey. How will I ever protect them? Lord, can't I just freeze time, and keep the girls home with me forever?”

Been there? Muddling through it now, but knowing what you might be up against in the future could be worse? Pondering the lesser of two evils? Pause or fast forward?

I’m anxious to have better reasoning capabilities with the girls; for cause and effect to really take hold. I’m anxious for the girls to be in school, and re-claim a little more of the Susan I used to know.

In the same vein, I’m anxious for the girls to grow up, and become more aware of the world around them. I’m nervous to be asked the hard questions, and face challenging scenarios. Dan and I often wonder how we’ll do—will we be able to do this job adequately? We’re afraid we’ll fail, but trusting that God will help us. But, sometimes, I’ve wondered: how in the world did He see fit to entrust us with these two children?

Status for today: Battle-weary. Desperately seeking strength to dig in, go toe to toe. To act mercifully, but require accountability. And, to not give up, but to engage.

Upside-down pacifier, and gorgeous brown eyes.