The latest happenings

It seems that our household runs on two different modes: feast or famine. There’s not much middle ground. There’s either too much going on or not enough. I’ve found that Dan thrives in the feast mode. He loves interacting with people, he finds the busyness exhilarating, energizing, and exciting. I, on the other hand, like a little bit of feast, but then desperately need to balance out with some famine. When I’m forced to “feast” for several days I end up feeling drained and burned out. Then I become “anti-social” (as Dan puts it) and I fully embrace my inner hermit. I’ll hang with my household, but won’t do much to engage with the world outside our four walls. It’s all about balance.

And, these four walls are gloriously quiet right now. Beyond our chaotic schedule, our household noise level has gone up a few notches as well. We’ve fully entered the sibling rivalry zone, and it is driving me bonkers and I know that it won’t improve anytime soon, and, rather, is here to stay FOREVER. I’ll often hear a litany or some variation of the following:

*Ave: “No, Romey, no!”
*Eagle (played by Romey): Screech!
*Ave: “No, Romey, no!”
*Pig (played by Romey): Grunt, snort!

As far as Ro goes, she is nearing the 15-month-old marker. She’s still a happy kid, and is always on the move. Romey has a little bit of drama in her, and has begun exerting her will (vocally and physically). Mostly, it’s just comical.

Avery continues to grow and change too. She’s asking more and more questions, and she continues to amaze us by how she processes what is going on around her. Lately, Avery has expressed that she wants to be a baby, and can we help her become small like Romey. When I’m feeling lazy my answer is “No.” When I’m being a good mommy I try to explain that God designed us to grow older, so, unfortunately, becoming a baby again isn’t in the cards.

I love these kids. I really, really love them. Sometimes, though, they really, really wear me out. Been there?

What else? I’m thinking about where we’ll send Avery to elementary school; I’m grateful for moments of great perspective; I’m grateful for Dan’s job; I’m feeling burdened for friends that aren’t doing so well; I'm wishing I could bazooka all this clutter; I’m wishing that Romey didn’t have a runny nose; I’m wasting a lot of time on Facebook; I’m thinking about extended family and all they add to the mix; I’m thinking about nutrition, and how I have much to learn about the ingredients in foods, organics, etcetera; and I’m wondering why I wasted time watching Nights in Rodanthe—it was a really dumb movie.

Okay, enough babbling! Enjoy these new pictures of my girls!

Yep, another picture of the two Guitar Heroes in my life.

Avery got seriously sugar buzzed on Valentine's Day. Sugar is not Avery's friend.

Ro loves to ride "horse" and hold her glow-baby.

Ro loves to stand on her horse; I'm not crazy about the idea.
Enjoy the following picture sequence. And, yes, she's always this happy.

Avery and Jesus, Part 2

Avery and Jesus. Jesus and Avery. Avery’s really interested in Jesus these days, and I could not be happier about it. I don’t suspect I’ll ever forget her “I need Jesus!” moment with the nativity, or her latest cries of adoration. But, just in case, I’m filing this story in the “So I don’t forget” category.

Here’s how Avery’s mind works: “Ouch, I’m about to get in trouble, so now is the time to say it. And I’m going to say it loudly, and passionately, and I’m going to get right in Mommy and Daddy’s face so they can’t punish me. If I say it again, and again, and again, it will break their resolve. So, ready go!”

And what does she say? “I love Jesus! I love him, Mommy and Daddy! I LOVE Jesus! I love him so much! I LOVE JESUS!” Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

And here’s where I’m stuck: what do I say? I’ve been mumbling something like, “I’m so glad you love Jesus, but it’s not okay to [insert infraction here].”

Avery is such a trip. I’m crazy about this kid, but there are some moments where I feel like she’d be better served by saying, “Jesus, help my Mommy! She needs you so much!”

I Heart Saturdays

We took a "pass" from our regular Saturday chores, and took the girls to the DuPage Children's Museum. The girls loved it, and we ended the morning with a run to "Old McDonalds." I don't have the heart to tell Avery that it is actually just called McDonald's. And, curious, some days it is open, and some days it is closed. Crazy, right?

Avery (and Ro) playing in the wind/air area.

I'm not sure why, but I just like this picture. Romey really loves Dan, and it still amazes me to see Romey standing, and walking around. She seems so tall and very toddler-like.

Avery in the wind tunnel playing with a pinwheel.

Now, be honest......what comes to mind when you see this picture? Cheeks, right?

Bubble man (and girl) totally encased by a big bubble.

Growing pains

Our little Avery-mouse

Dan and I had a light bulb moment a few weeks ago. Crystal clear, the ‘water ain’t muddy no more’ kind of moment. Dan and I are still so green when it comes to parenting (and a lot of other things!). We’ve learned a lot over the last few years, but we still have so much to learn, and often feel overwhelmed by the fact that the “playing field” keeps changing, and we too, have to be quick to change and adapt or else.

To what parenting challenge am I referring to? Discipline. It’s difficult to know what situations/actions warrant which reaction/tactic/consequence. We’ve tried a lot of different things, but what I’ve come to realize, more clearly now than ever, is that consistency is the key.

Our latest mountain has been teaching Avery that it isn’t acceptable behavior for her to be disrespectful toward us. And by disrespect, I’m referring to back-talk, attitude, dirty looks, hitting, tone of voice, etcetera. I was pretty loose on this; calling her on it every now and again. And then it occurred to me that I was sending mixed signals; not setting clear boundaries and inadvertently telling Avery that it was okay sometimes but not okay other times. So, I (we) decided that it is not okay EVER, and now is the time to nip this behavior. And so we have, and it’s working. I’m seeing flare-ups here and there, but I feel like we're making some progress.

To sweeten the pot even more, I’ve tried using Avery’s love language on her (words of affirmation), and have absolutely loved watching the child glow. We’ve always praised her, but have recently tried being very specific with our praise, and giving it when we’ve noticed an intentional behavioral choice.

I took Avery to Blockbuster the other day, and told her “no candy.” She had a real opportunity to sock it to me, and I could see the wheels spinning in her head, but she chose to listen and stand next to me nicely, and although to some this doesn’t sound like much, for me, it was AMAZING. And man, when we got to the car I let her know that it was amazing, and the way she smiled, I know she got it.

And so, I believe it to be true, we aren’t doing our children any favors by not disciplining them or not holding them accountable. I hate the excuse of “that’s just who they are”—as applied to children or adults. I feel that’s a real cop-out. I think we’re expected to grow and mature; be better; be different; be closer to who God wants us to be and to emulate Christ more and more.

With Ave, I expect we’ll have some setbacks, but am hoping we’re on the right track. Ave, I’m so proud of you, and love watching you grow.

Confession

I have to make a quick confession: sometimes I’m a really crappy mom. This declaration shouldn't come as that big of a surprise; I’m not perfect, and my mothering isn’t either.

Last Tuesday Avery brought a note home from school stating that Thursday was going to be a snow day—not the day off, but a snow-themed day, including playing outside. So, basically, the kids were to bring their snow gear to school. Well, I spaced it. Avery went to school with her coat, gloves, and hat, but I forgot about her snow boots. Because Avery didn’t have snow boots she wasn’t allowed to climb the snow hills. When I picked Avery up from school she was crying, and upset and telling me that she needs to wear her boots to school. Honestly, I felt terrible. Score one for mommy.

Ro seems to be on the verge of dropping her morning nap—except for today—the first morning nap in a week. So, on Thursday, while Avery was busy crying at school because she didn’t have her snow boots, I took the van to the car wash. Romey was along, watching a Baby Einstein video in back. The car wash started and Romey started freaking out. The noise, water, etcetera, scared her, and although I was trying to soothe her, I couldn’t help but laugh. And so I laughed, and she survived, and calmed down after we drove out of the carwash. I’m still snickering about it. So, score two for mommy, and mark this moment down in history—I felt bad for Avery, and didn’t feel bad for Romey. And, referring to not feeling bad for Romey, she’s started screaming and throwing little tantrums. Again, I’m laughing. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—“Ro, you gotta up your game. Your tantrums are laughable!”