Story Telling

Someday, many years from now, I plan to take Avery out for a girls’ night out of sorts. And, over margaritas and chips I’m going to tell her about the time I came to pick her up from preschool, and caught her whipping her spare pair of underwear at her classmates. And, I’m going to tell her how loudly she was laughing, and how all eyes were on her, and how she just kept whipping and whipping the underwear around and around and around. I’ll tell her how I stood there staring, and how, as we walked to the car, I sternly told her that she’d have to tell her father about this one. And I’ll tell her how she told Dan, and promised that she wouldn’t do it again. And I’ll tell her how teaching her manners, and what is/isn’t appropriate was the most MADDENING aspect of parenting, and how I plan to laugh my butt off when Avery’s daughter is taking her to the cleaners, and leaving HER face down in the carpet BEGGING FOR MERCY.

And then I’ll finish the story by telling her that she broke her promise to her father by engaging in panty whipping AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN. And then how we completed the cycle again: told Daddy, promised not to do it, but then did it again AND AGAIN. And then I’ll tell her how the teacher pulled me aside and said, “The four year old class doesn’t need to bring spare clothing. We covered it during the Orientation session. Certainly you were there.” And then I quipped, “Well, yes, but I was too busy nursing my bad attitude while simultaneously praising God that preschool was starting back up ALL WHILE chasing a ping pong ball and playing Mad Libs! Holy heck! Could you have told me she didn’t need spare clothing after the first whipping offense? Help me, help you, help me here lady!” C’mon!

And then Avery and I will toast our margarita glasses, order another round (charge it to Dan), and hopefully laugh, cause that’s the only way to muddle through this. Cause, really, life is pretty doggone good.

Mad Libs

Finally. After a long, long, grueling, and, at times, boring summer, school started today. The heavens opened, the angels sang, and we made our way to another preschool orientation session. I’d love to say that this preschool orientation session was full of new and helpful information, but alas it was remarkably similar to last year’s. The primary difference between this session, and last year’s session, was that last year I was smart enough to hire a sitter for Romey. There’s nothing like sitting through twice-hashed information chasing a ping-pong ball around the room---a ping-pong ball that has an extreme fascination with babies (and at a preschool orientation session the baby population is booming). And of the said babies, some of their mothers are quite cool with a ping-pong ball stopping and admiring, and others who are like, “Get your ping pong ball out of here! This orientation session is life-giving and extremely interesting!” You know you’re listening to a preschool teacher speak when there are multiple props (some of which make cool noises), and he/she tends to converse like you’re playing a game of Mad Libs. And by that I mean that the speaker is speaking and periodically pausing so you can ‘fill in the blank.’ And while the speaker is waiting for you to ‘fill in the blank’ they are courteously turning their head and cupping their ear because doing so allows for them to HEAR YOUR RESPONSE MORE CLEARLY. What?

So, I’m chasing a ping-pong, playing a little Mad Libs, and had a moment of, “Ugh. This is me.” I am the mother of a preschooler. I drive a mini-van. I have a fat tush, and am wearing some seriously slouchy clothes. I love this stage of life (really do) but sometimes I feel a little….ugh. And then I snap out of it because I know I have much to be grateful for, and should play Mad Libs with a joyful heart. But, selfishly, sometimes I don’t want to play Mad Libs, and am hopelessly faking it.

For tomorrow I’m praying for an attitude adjustment, and hoping that it takes root before it’s time to take Avery to Disney on Ice……

The first day of 4-year-old preschool.

Wow! She has changed a lot in a year! Check out last year's first day of preschool picture.

Wrapping up August

Today is Friday for me. Well, actually Thursday, but Dan’s off tomorrow, so it's Friday in my book. We're at the onset of a four-day-weekend and I COULDN’T BE MORE EXCITED. In addition to the summer blissfully coming to an end, I’m also a stone throw away from Avery starting school. She goes back on September 8, and instead of moaning and groaning about not being busy enough I will soon be moaning and groaning about being too busy. Although, I must admit that the idea of getting back into a regular routine sounds mighty attractive. Instead of indulging my desire to hang out in our pajamas all morning long, Ro and I will be shuttling Avery to school three mornings a week, and then she and I will do some mix of working out, errands, Bible study, and so forth. I really love fall. We’ve had the most beautiful stretch of 60/70 degree days and I COULDN’T LOVE IT MORE. Really.

We’ve wrapped up August doing our regular life stuff—some fun outings, some good times with family and friends. And it just feels weird that summer is already over. It’s been a lot of fun, although I’m glad to be hanging up my cruise director hat. Avery starts each day with, “Where are we going today, Mom?” And, she’s never satisfied with any type of errand or a visit to the store, but a park is acceptable, but a play date with a friend—Wow! That's the prize that earns me a: “Mom, you’re the best!” I'm not the best, though, when I'm constantly having to break up a heated sibling-rivalry face-off. I HATE IT. Avery can be so mean to Romey. I just don't get it. I feel like I say, "Don't pick up your sister!" or "Please listen!" no less than fifty times a day. And then the biting starts.....

And while we’re discussing Mom-Avery conversations/interactions I’d be remiss to not mention that Avery is stammering again. The doctor says it’s completely normal, but sometimes it’s just downright painful to wait for her to get her point across. Sometimes it is so bad that it sounds like a car is revving up. Combined with Romey’s grunting and mumbling, I feel like conversation in my home set up for failure (or hopelessly doomed cause we all know I'm a great conversationalist!). My name is Susan Nelson, and I do reside with the Stammer-er and the Mumbler, and all day long we look at each other and ...... laugh..... and attempt to decode all the expressive (and excessive) verbage. Yep, I'm on a thrifting hunt to see if I can’t find a coupon for BOGO speech therapy sessions!

And, when she’s not stammering, Avery’s favorite thing to do is play duck-duck-goose. When we play duck-duck-goose Avery’s eyes light up, and she giggles with excitement. While my family was in town recently they all agreed to play duck-duck-goose, and Avery LOVED it. My brother was ‘goosed’ and he was one heck of goose. Way to go, Tom! (Lea, you’re next).

And, I feel as though I need to post a ‘Headcount, Part 2.’ Although we’re not chiseling our decision in stone, we are putting our ‘lean or sway’ on the Internet (and that’s one step closer to picking up the chisel): we’re feeling as though we’re meant to be a two-kid family. There. I said it.

Seriously, we’ve had recent moments of clarity where we’ve felt that two is enough (actually, we’ve sometimes felt that two is more than enough; like maybe we’re already one beyond our limit!). We’ve spun the wheel three times, came out with two healthy, happy kids, and are feeling content. Instead of increasing our fold, we plan to focus on the children we have, and doing our best to raise them well. Based on what we believe to be our threshold for parenting well, we are embracing the magic number of two. And, since I’m posting this online you’ll undoubtedly be hearing an unplanned pregnancy announcement from us soon!

Have a FANTASTIC weekend, and, if we’re not connected via Facebook or Twitter, here are some of Dan’s recent Twit videos:

*Ave Abracadabra
*Ave wishing she were a penguin
*Ave sharing a tootsie roll with a dinosaur @Brookfield Zoo
*A summer-time meal
*Rockin' Ro
*Ro saying bye-bye
*Monkey Joe’s
*Ro Tinkerbell

Avery riding the carousal at Brookfield Zoo.

Avery with a dinosaur

Ro, Dan and Ave -- I love these three.

And, one last picture with Avery and a dinosaur.

Three

Three quick pieces of information worth sharing (so you can't say that I didn't tell you so!):

Number 1: Romey is a biter. Yes, when the golden-haired one is frustrated she bites. Romey bites people; she bites furniture; whatever or whomever is closest. I've heard stories of Dan biting kids when he was a wee lad, and he still admits that as an adult he grits his teeth when he's angry. I guess you could say that he's passed this lovely trait to Romey. Consider yourself warned.

Number 2: Traffic cameras are extremely accurate. Those traffic cameras near stoplights (know the ones?) are NOT FOR SHOW. THEY ARE FOR REAL. And, dammit, they busted me crawling through a right turn lane, red light scenario. Dammit!

Number 3: You'd be CRAZY to not take advantage of KMART double coupons week. It's seriously easy. Even if you don't need anything or have large amounts of discretionary income, maybe you could pick up some freebies and donate them? I know this is a little bit corny, but I'm very proud of my thriftiness, and so I took a picture of my loot (just like my favorite sites do!). Plus, I've marked the items that were either free or near free (and some rough estimates). Check out this site if you want to learn how to do this!

• 6-pack of Bounty paper towls ($1--Used KMART bucks to subsidize)
  
• 6-pack of Quilted Northern toilet paper ($1 --Used KMART bucks to subsidize)
  
• 3-pack of Sparkle paper towels (50 cents/piece)
  
• 4-pack of Angel Soft toilet paper (50 cents/piece)
  
• 1 package of Chinet paper plates ($1.50)
  
• 3 bottles of Listerine mouthwash (one free, two for $1/piece)
  
• 4 Right Guard Fast Break deodorants (50 cents/piece!)
• 2 trial size Skintimate shave gel (free!)
• 2 trial size Edge shave gel (free!)
• 2 AXE shower gels ($1/piece)
  
• 1 Suave bodywash ($1)
  
• 2 bottles of Vaseline lotion (free!)
• 1 10-pack of Bic razors (free!)
• 2 Sure deodorants (free!)
• 2 Dove deodorants (free!)
• 1 Tag deodorant (free!)
• 1 Tag deodorant spray (free!)
• 2 Pert Plus shampoos (50 cents/piece)
• 2 Clean & Clean moisturizers ($1.50/piece)
  
• 1 package of Pampers Easy-Ups ($7)
  
• 2 packages of Visine eyedrops (free!)
• 2 Dial pump soaps (50 cents/piece!)
• 1 Softsoap pump soap (free!)
• 1 Dove bodywash ($3/piece)
  
• 1 Reach dental floss (free!)
• 2 containers of Juicy Juice juice ($1/piece)
  
• 2 Lysol Neutra Air air fresheners (free!)
• 8 Nature Source spray cleaners (free!)
• 1 Arm & Hammer bathroom cleaner (50 cents/piece)
  
• 1 Arm & Hammer laundry detergent ($2)
  
• 1 bottle of Lime-Away ($1)
  
• 2 bottles of A-1 steak sauce (40 cents/piece)
• 2 packs of Trident gum (free!)
• 4 packs of Scotch tape (19 cents/piece)
• 1 jar of Welch's grape jelly ($1)
  
• 1 bottle of BBQ sauce ($1)
• 1 bottle of Dawn dish soap ($1)
• 1 bag of Dove chocolate ($2)
  
  

TOTAL: $42! ($7 of which is diapers!) Go! Go now!

Headcount

I recently saw an advertisement promoting having more kids. No, it wasn’t really, but it was a masterfully orchestrated picture montage of a family of five. Naturally, the track was a lovely song; not the real audio of what must have really been going on to elicit such beautiful facial expressions, and loving gestures from all parties involved. Dan and I watched it independently and came to the same conclusion: we want more kids.

Of course, if you ask me after a full night’s sleep if I want more kids, the answer would be yes. If you wait until the be-witching hour, then I’ll tell you I’m done. If you ask on a Monday, I’ll say no. If you ask on a Saturday, I’ll say yes. Dan is also non-committal. Sometimes he’s misty-eyed and sentimental about the whole idea. Other moments he’s racing out the door before his alarm sounds.

And yet, we’re very aware that we’re smack dab in the middle of this window of opportunity. The time is now. Make a decision. Don’t get ten years down the road and regret not gutting through the newborn/toddler stuff.

Something (aforementioned advertisement) or someone always manages to conjure up the feelings of “Are we sure? Really, really sure?” Are we meant to be a party of four or a party of five? Do we really understand what it would be like for the dynamic duo to gain strength (and numbers) to become the triple threat and possibly EAT US ALIVE?

Transitioning from one child to two nearly did is in, and I wonder if going from two to three would be the final ‘nail in the coffin.’ And, even if we did put our hat in the ring, it certainly doesn’t mean that we would get pregnant. But, if perhaps we tried, then maybe we’d feel like we had done our part, and God would orchestrate it as He saw fit.

I think that God wires some people to handle bigger families, and sometimes I feel like maybe I’m wired to handle two. I want to know my girls. I want to provide them with as many opportunities as possible. To me, more than two children often sounds incredibly overwhelming, and yet some people raise three (or more) children artfully and gracefully.

Some good friends recently announced that they were expecting their first child, and Dan and I were (are) over-the-moon excited for them. Later, our sinister side sort of laughed about it, “They don’t know what they’ve just signed on for! This baby is going to kick their butt!” Of course, we were blissfully ignorant once too, and, those that see us/know us can vouch that we’re still getting our butt kicked.

Something unexpected happened: when this parents-to-be couple made their announcement I didn’t feel, “Gosh, I wish it were us.” In fact, I said, “Gosh, I’m glad it’s not us.” I felt like, “Hey, we’re beyond this. We’re done having kids, and we’re gleefully passing the baton.” Maybe?

I know one of my friends is reading this and saying, “Go for it!” She’s my dreamer friend, and full of faith that it will all work out. Realistically, though, I think I’m a little faith-less. Would another child round us out perfectly? Can we afford it? Is having another a responsible choice?

So, we’re going to pray about it through the end of the year, and see how we’re feeling at the beginning of 2010. If you’re in the same boat, and would like to share, I’d love to know how you’re processing your family’s ‘headcount.’